I apologise to anyone who was offended by the last post. Due to this, i am increasing my screening by moderating all posts before they are shown.
I have also deleted the offending member from the member list, who will no longer be able to post.
Again, I apologise - I'm sure we can all do without people like that.
My ex-bf was the biggest ass-hole. He really didn't give a fuck about me, and laughed when i told him that i cut. I'm so over guys.
I do wish that guys were the most of my problems though. I could deal with that.
So anyway, i told my mum im gonna move out with friends, for like the fifth time. And for like the fifth time she cried and begged me to saty and told me not to leave her alone with my step-dad. And for the fifth time i promised id stay.
I don't know why i do it to myself. She doesnt care about me. She leaves me alone with him all the time, and watches as he gives me new bruises, and as i give myself new scars. She's putting me through this, and keeping me there so that she's not alone.
I havent told her that he tries to watch me change clothes and shower, and that he slaps my ass with a disgusting look and his face as i go passed. I wonder if that would change anything? probably not. In her mind, she's all that matters. And my step-dad should just FUCKEN ROT IN HELL!
I'm glad you've all joined my community though. Now at least we have people to talk to :) And i'm happy to listen to anyone's experiences if you feel the need to share them :)
i was going to cut last night but knowing me i lost my fucking razor blade....damnit....
my stupid fucking ex bf called me last night to fuss at me......i think he strives to make me mad as hell at me.............errr.....i hate him soooooooooo much.......okay im lying......i dont i really love him....but lets not tell him that now......
he called me to tell me to not to try to get him n brian to fight, brian is my ex bf, i was dating him at the time and josh ( my other ex bf, the one who called) called me a whore...or said i was acting like a whore.....and brian got mad at was gonna whoop his ass and i told him not to.......but eh......i all ways end up geting bitched at fer nothing....
why does he hafta bitch at me?......i wish he'd knew how i felt a/b him.....i canttell him coz then he'd just take advantage over it like he always does..........he can go and have his fun wihtlike 50 million girls but i decide i dont want him no more he gets mad at me.....so i just give up.............and he wonders why i cut so bad?.....
i did write a poem, but i posted it on Xanga, i'll put it up here when I get home..... Current Mood: depressed
hmm....wow there are actually ppl out there i can relate to.....well somewhat at least
i wish i could say that i have a horrible life and thats the reason being why i cut like i do.......but i cant....coz i dont really have a horrible life.....i have a perfect family.......my dad USED to beat me if that counts?....but my younger sister is perfect my brother isnt a bad kid and my parenst expect me to be like them..........yeh.right..........
i do have friends that care for me............
i like talking to ppl a/b my problems tho.....but then again i dont really like it wen they think all i want is sympathy........ Current Mood: suicidal
Im Ashley I see that there not too many people in this community but that dosnt matter to me. We can make this community grow. Im just relieved that there is others like me a CUTTEr who cuts because they can no longer feel the pain that surrounds us.
I almost killed myself last night.
But i guess i do every night.
Its always on my mind.
I need some-one to talk to.
But no-one wants to listen.
Maybe one of you could talk to me.
What else do i have to lose?
This community is for people like me.
People who need to cut.
But also for people who want to talk.
To share their pain with others like them.
To know that we are not alone like we always feel.
Like i feel right right now.